FINALLY

So at paed appointment this morning we finally got an answer to J's issues. We are officially off to an ENT to discuss grommits. No more constant antibiotics no more up all night no more sooky bubby. YAY His lovely paed listened to my description of what's been going on and checked him over and read the audiology report and she has reffered us to a lovely (she says) ENT who should be ableto help us. We worked out he would have been on at least 10 corses of amoxcil in 12 months TEN. WOW So tomorrow first thing I have to call to make an appointment and we shall go from there. Poor kid has literally gone form no infection tuesday alittle fluid yesterday and full blown infections today. No wonder he isn't happy. Can't believe it finally someone has helped. We even have an asthma plan in place for him. YAY Everything is looking UP up uppity up :)

Is it all in my head?

Got a phone call this arvo from J's paediatrician asking if we'd like to take an appointment at 9:30 tomorrow morning because the numbers for the people the appointment is for have been disconnected so we are thinking they won't attend FANTASTIC. So I said yes of course thank you. (had emailed paed 2 days ago so she knew what J was upto) It got me thinking am I turning into oneof those demanding mothers whohas to be centre of attention because she has nothing but her children?? Is J really as sick as i think he is or am i making him "worse" because i want him to be worse and need me??? My mum made me think it at first because she sounded bored with yet another J being sick story. I am so glad my closest friend knows me so well that she is honest and said when i am tired and emotional i do get abit anxious but who wouldn't with almost a week of no sleep. So I shall be going to bed tonight (sore toe too) and thinking about am i making my son and kids sick.

A mum's love

I was thinking last night while awake about my little family. A had to sleep in the lounge because I had B and J in bed with me (I had crashed early). Whilst awake and watching my 2 boys sleeping I was thinking about each child as an individual. B while on the spectrum is still amazingly clever and has a love for reading i see in myself and a love for numbers like his Pa. J while only a toddler is ridiculously happy and I am so grateful he has a fantastic GP who knows him so well because he always has a smile on his face no matter the trouble (tho when he cries the whole neighborhood know it. This then led on to E who is such a beautiful friendly yet stubborn girl who is scarily like me but makes me smile with her ability to be so girly and all about her dolls or teddy and then out there pushing the boys around and giving them what for. Finally L he is our delicate one who is not very confident in himself but loves being like B. My children while produced by the same 2 people are 4 very different souls. I truly believe J was sent to us to help me let go of B more and trust that others are here to help. But come on poor J needs a break. His Gp yesterday commented on how worried she is that it is a recurring problem and today while he slept well he has slept alot and when awake coughing and crying :( Breaks your heart to see a child like this. And i can't get into his paed till october. Just want an answer so we can help him. I love each one of my children the same and am confident in saying that. It is a love like no other and changes who you are inside. You find a fight in you you didn't know you had and a care for another that you have no idea where it was hiding. Most of all you feel a proud sense of accomplishment when they are so excited because they drew a few lines on a piece of paper or helped someone put on a shoe or jumper. Being a mum is the best feeling in the world a million times more then i thought it would be and I'm so glad I have 4 beautiful souls to share it with.

Mummy might be going crazy! J's hospital visit

Last night I ended up with J at the ED because he was having another one of his coughing nearly being sick episodes and I said to A can't do this anymore he needs help. So round to my mum's to get her to come to. Off we set (around 30 mins to hospital)in the car J is coughing spluttering and screaming. We get tot he hospital and he is happy as. GRRR isn't it always the way. So we waited bout an hour to see the dr. It is a little asian lady who looked rather bored and pretty clueless.Couldn't find a cord to get his obs went to 3 different rooms to get a thing to look in his ears went back to the bed saw another 3 people the first lady comes back after speaking to my supervisor we've decided to send you home keep up fluids and give panadol every 4 hours. I nearly fell off the bed I replied trying to hold back the tears "he isn't eating he isn't drinking much if he is it is water or warm milk what more can I do because we went through this last winter and I have done everything. The dr was looking scared like a deer in a spotlight. But I was so angry did she not listen to me at all. I had told her this I had told triage nurse this and still no one was listening. Next thing I know a lovely young asian dr come in who checked J out. Listened to his chest for awhile and then handed the ear piece of the steth to his co worker who was looking puzzled. He asked how far away we lived and we said 30 mins or so. He replied ok go home if it happens again give him 3 puffs every 10mins and bring him straight back. FINALLY someone in there listened. I have decided next time I will go straight to the children's or monash as it was a joke. for an ED they were pretty chilled and not caring. Very scary. I just wish they would make a nationwide database for all records so i am not having to repeat myself about everything multiple times. My poor bubby is so used to steth's and ear probes and thermometers it is not normal. :( I JUST WANT MY BABY WELL IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK.

The day the roof caved in.

WHOLLY MOLEY BATMAN Yesterday got home form school drop off and was in the laundry when I hear this BANG CRASH and felt the house shake alittle. Asked L what happened as it's usually because he's run into a wall or something silly like that. He said nothing so I asked what had fallen he said nothing so I carried on for about 5mins then thoguht no something doesn't feel right i need to check this out. So because i thoguht the sound came from the side of the house I went out the front door and when I looked to my right I saw what had happened. OUR CARPORT ROOF HAD COLLAPSED. Ok so not the whole roof just the plaster board but it was on my car :( So I called my bestie to come help at least get it off my car so I can do end of day mad rush. Took awhile and a tradie from a building site down the road to help but we got it off. Was fun breaking it up to move it. But scary how easy it was to do. To think that stuff is what the roof is in the house. So played a great game last night because of course it hailed and rained and stormed and the wind was ferocious so if i hadn't been awake with J most the night i would have been with worry the roof was going to fall in. So today is a day of fixing it up and dealing with the land lords insurance people. YAY for me sick baby and dealing with tradies. BLAH

What is going on out there?

Jumped on my Facebook last night to see what was going on before i went to bed and saw a friends post in a support group. I was floored. I found a few things amazing last night. first how horrible people are, How awesome the support group I am in is the girls all rallied round and were wonderful to a friend in need and I think THAT is a wonderful thing, there are alot of sick people out there given too many chances. This issue is exceptionally sad because I have another friend who has nearly finished going through the same thing but her child younger and the offender a teen. I feel for my friend whose world was torn apart last night as they are in a strange town with very few friends and I know from what i have seen with a few people in years gone by that this person and their child are about to embark on a huge emotional roller coaster probably not traveled on since the child's ASD diagnosis. I found just reading the heartbreaking story I was full of rage and tears and I haven't even met these people. I found myself questioning those around my family and how well I know them or their families. Am I too relaxed with my children and who I let talk to them. Am I sure all the doors and windows are closed and locked? So many things run through your head about your own situation. and I think for a few days to come it will continue to make me more cautious about what is around me. My friends child will never be the same after last night and that is sad that a young person should be taken advantage of like that. It was also told last night that the offender is a parent as well which makes it so sad because how do you explain to the children what the parent has done to someone else? Such a tragedy that no family should ever go through.So sad. :(

Dress up day

B came home all excited last night from school. "it's dress up day tomorrow mum for book week. Mrs L says we aren't doing ANY learning this week, no reading or writing or maths just fun." "Oh right ok" I reply giggling to myself that I had to remember to tell Mrs L in the morning that this is what he said. So it was a late night of altering costume and making shoe covers because spiderman would need covers over his runners to hide the "normal" shoes. So all 6 of us left in excitement this morning to walk to school and watch the kids tell all about their costume and the smiles were impressive. All the kids were super excited. Mrs L was smiling when I told her B's information he passed on last night. Good old captain A being literal as ever. So I nervesly went to pick and waited for a tired and emotional boy to come out the class when his teacher asked me to come stand with another mum (B's bestest friend ever) and see what a horrible day the 2 boys had. She proceeds to show us a video of B's friend wrestling with B and pulling his ears. SHe just let it go and B was LOVING it! WHAT THE....... I couldn't believe it B was sitting there while his friend pulled him around and was being really rough and not one sound came out. AMAZING I think this friend of B's is allowed to get away with anything. So now I have a tired spiderman sitting on the couch watching 23 and nearly falling asleep! RELAX :)