A mum's love

I was thinking last night while awake about my little family. A had to sleep in the lounge because I had B and J in bed with me (I had crashed early). Whilst awake and watching my 2 boys sleeping I was thinking about each child as an individual. B while on the spectrum is still amazingly clever and has a love for reading i see in myself and a love for numbers like his Pa. J while only a toddler is ridiculously happy and I am so grateful he has a fantastic GP who knows him so well because he always has a smile on his face no matter the trouble (tho when he cries the whole neighborhood know it. This then led on to E who is such a beautiful friendly yet stubborn girl who is scarily like me but makes me smile with her ability to be so girly and all about her dolls or teddy and then out there pushing the boys around and giving them what for. Finally L he is our delicate one who is not very confident in himself but loves being like B. My children while produced by the same 2 people are 4 very different souls. I truly believe J was sent to us to help me let go of B more and trust that others are here to help. But come on poor J needs a break. His Gp yesterday commented on how worried she is that it is a recurring problem and today while he slept well he has slept alot and when awake coughing and crying :( Breaks your heart to see a child like this. And i can't get into his paed till october. Just want an answer so we can help him. I love each one of my children the same and am confident in saying that. It is a love like no other and changes who you are inside. You find a fight in you you didn't know you had and a care for another that you have no idea where it was hiding. Most of all you feel a proud sense of accomplishment when they are so excited because they drew a few lines on a piece of paper or helped someone put on a shoe or jumper. Being a mum is the best feeling in the world a million times more then i thought it would be and I'm so glad I have 4 beautiful souls to share it with.